WatchingTedLasso

Author’s Note: As the title of this episode came up on the screen, I wept. Not the subtle, beautiful, single tear sliding down the stoic widow’s face. Full-on, full-out, with feeling body convulsions, open-mouthed because you simply can’t breathe, can’t even see the screen through the deluge. I paused the episode before it even truly started. I cried. Hard. Maybe you need to, too. That’s okay. But please come back and press play.

As noted above, this was a big episode for me, full of things to unpack. There’s possibly multiple chapters here. Luckily for me, this is just a draft. Luckily for you, I have some semblance of structure. Three things are sticking with me: Funerals are weird, sometimes when you love something (or someone) you love it (or them) forever, and look for life’s pink fuzzy slippers.

First of all, it’s openly acknowledged that funerals are weird. I absolutely loved this about the show because it’s something I think people feel too polite or awkward to acknowledge to a widow. Funerals ARE fucking weird. I’ve also heard elsewhere that funerals are for the living, not the dead. I think that’s a truism as well. It’s an opportunity to honor and remember your loved one. But, if it was anything like my Charlie’s funeral, I was honoring and remembering alongside some of his closest friends and family as well as people who didn’t know Charlie like his close friends and family, and certainly his wife, knew him. Fucking weird. Do you laugh at a story told about your loved one? Do you accept hugs from strangers? Do you cry openly in public? Are you just numb and it passes in a blur? Fact is, all of it’s okay. If there were ever a “Hey, you do whatever you like! Live! Liiiiive!” moment, it’s at your loved one’s funeral. If anyone attending doesn’t understand that, it’s on them. Not you.

In the episode, we learn some of Rebecca’s backstory through a difficult heart-to-heart with her mother. We learn some facts about her father that don’t shine a bright light on his character. Maybe you knew, or have found out since their death, some things about your loved one that reflect poorly on their character. Or, maybe they’ve left you with physical or emotional messes that complicate your feelings about them. Rebecca’s mom tells her that she knew about her father’s infidelities and loved him anyway. Because once she loved something, she never stopped. This can be true about your loved one as well. You’re allowed to love them forever and always, with all of their faults. It doesn’t mean you approve(d) of their behavior. It means you loved someone beyond passing judgement.

Among some of the lighter-hearted moments of this episode is Danny Rojas, Mr. “Futbol is life”. His normally sunny disposition is turned comically upside down by a simple pair of dress shoes he’s made to wear on the day. He hates them so much he wants to take them off and burn them. Haven’t we felt that about tasks that are put upon us simply by virtue of being a widow? I don’t want to wear the dress shoes of life. They are uncomfortable at best, and put blisters on your heart at worst. Danny taught me some lessons as the episode progressed, though. He literally leaned on his teammates to take a few steps. I can’t say this loudly enough, PLEASE do this in your life! It is not weakness to ask for help, or a hug, or to just lean on someone who offers to help. It is the very definition of strength. Later in the episode, Danny finds a pair of Rebecca’s pink fuzzy slippers to wear. And as he shows his gratitude to Rebecca, we see him returning to the affable man we’ve grown to know and love. There will be pink fuzzy slippers that come your way. Wear them! Let them cushion the discomfort those dress shoes have caused. I’m speaking metaphorically, of course, but if you want to jump on Amazon right now I’m not here to stop you.

Funerals are weird, once you love something maybe you love it forever, and pink fuzzy slippers. And no weddings. But plenty of love.